1.) Is the topic hotly debated in all of Western culture or just American culture?
2.) What's your thesis? That the debate has caused problems? An essay means you're making a statement, an argument if you will. You must take a stand on something, not just explain both sides. Perhaps you can take both
sides as you sort of do at the end, but you need to have a voice of reason within this essay.
3.) Many religions have REJECTED Creationism
. Also, you might want to consider that the book of Genesis has two slightly different creation stories in Chapters 1 and 2, I believe.
4.) "less than 10,000 years ago," the common accepted time was a little over 6,000 years old. I forget the name of the religious figure who decided on this, but he went by Biblical records and time frames.
5.) "in more or less the same fashion he exists today" Actually, mankind has gotten worse than he started. Originally, humans in the Biblical texts lived closed to a 1,000 years each, but died progressively younger. The thought is that sin has limited our lifespans down to a mere fraction of once they once were in the prelapserian and newly postlapserian landscapes.
6.) Your argument opening paragraph three is flawed. You basically say that mankind was cool with Creationism for a few thousand years, so it's probably okay. Just because mankind survived
believing in Creationism does not mean it benefited
them. Many traditional Asian and South Asian cultures have a completely seperate creation story than the monotheistic one of the West, and they survived just fine, too. Before the Muslim expansion around 600 A.D., Arabic nations had their own polytheistic creation myth, and they also got on fine for a few thousand years. Hell, they created
Civilization. Therefore it is a flawed argument to say that since someone gets on fine, they have the correct belief.
7.) The lessons of the "good book" also includes an allowance to stoning children to death if the misbehave. Remember, people have adapted laws from
the Bible and Torah, but not all
the laws. What does that mean?
8.) By the way, you capitalize "the Bible" when referring to the contents of the book itself or as a text and you don't capitalize it when you're referring to it as an object.
9.) You haven't convinced me that either side is right or wrong in the third paragraph. This is an essay, but you're just recycling data. Make a statement. Stand for something. Have a viewpoint. What's your opinion?
10.) Sooo....the fourth paragraph is you saying what you've already said, just in case we missed it two hundred words ago? Don't do this, dawg
. You have limited space in essays. Every word is valuable. This looks like you're trying to fill up space by summarizing. Creationism - religion, Evolution - science. Got it.
11.) "Arguing, for example, that God created all earth in six days, or that some outside, incomprehensible power let loose from nothing the universe as we see it today, is really arguing little more than semantics." How
is this semantics? These are two different ideas. The concept behind six days of Creation with Earth at the center is WAY different from thirteen billion years with Earth just a speck of dust in an ever expanding (or is it shrinking; I always get that wrong) infinitely large universe. Your "baby doggy" and "puppy" analogy are therefore wrong.
12.) "would have the capacity to put humanity on a firm track towards peaceful coexistence by undermining many of the abrasive disagreements that divided the societies of the world" What
? First of all, the Creationism vs. Evolution debate certainly isn't tearing humanity apart. No one's laying car bombs under the local bio-lab just because they found a 100,000 year old ape skeleton with a funny-looking thumb. Secondly, many religious bodies have already made this distinction. The Catholic Church ruled
, a while back, that evolution was perfectly alright by traditional dogma; God had a hand in it, they said. Therefore your amazing solution has already been considered.