|Those Three Dangerous Words
||[May. 20th, 2005|10:48 pm]
|||||The Verve- Bittersweet Symphony||]|
I had this posted on mine, but not that many people read it.
We live in a day and age in which we don't completely mean everything we say. You hear it everyday, someone just randomly saying an saying or phrase to our friends and peers that would normally be meant as an insult or an act of passion. For example: Jane has a new pair of sunglasses with stars on the frames. Her friend, Beth sees them and exclaims "Oh my god! Those are so beautiful, I hate you!". Now Beth doesnt hate Jane at all. Her use of the phrase "I hate you" is not directed as a form of insult or expression of anger. No, its just a weird and compelling way to pay compliment ot Jane and those sunglasses. Is it weird that we accept this as such? But that is only a mild occasion and example. Let's get down to the real point.
"I Love You". Perhaps the most overused and misleading phrase used in our young teenage lives these days. Sure it's a nice thing to say and even better to hear. The only problem is that the use of it no longer seems to retain its original meaning and effect. Webster's dictionary has a few defintions of love that we shall now observe:
(1) : warm attachment, enthusiasm, or devotion
This is used simply enough throughout all of us. Jerry loves to sail, Frankie loves guns, Beenie loves the Beach Boys, Joan loves God. Simple enough, right? Move on to:
(2) : attraction based on sexual desire : affection and tenderness felt by lovers
Now here we go. Since there may be children reading, i shall not give examples for this one. But we all get the point. But the funny thing here is that sex does not always equal to love. This seems to be more the definition for lust.
(3) : strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties
Now this basic definition that we are all familiar which relates to that of love within family or really-close personal affiliations. For example: Mother loves son, daughter loves father, grandma loves nephew Bob, Jack loves his wife Jill, and Steve loves his best friend since kindergarden named Pudd. The use of love in this context is simple as such and self-explanatory. It's not easy to fuck up the meaning behind this love. But somehow, we've managed to find a way.
What i mean by that is in todays day and age among us, we all use the phrase "i love you" too loosely among our peers and such and its gotten to the point that the phrase no longer holds it true meaning. Just the other day, i lent a dollar to someone who i barely knew and she replied with "OMG thank you so much i friggin love you!". Now sure, it was a nice thing to say and it was cool to hear, but c'mon now. Thats a little too much for just one dollar. But its not just that one time, it happens to me quite a lot.
In our young minds, the feelings of "love" are a relatively new experiance and are rapidly taking form. We date in order to find an experiance called "love" and usually we face discouarging results. We search and search for that experiance, and anything coming close to it will excite our little hearts. Now, the overuse of the "i love you" phrase mainly retains to the female side. Now we as guys know that your saying it to be sweet and such and to show perhaps a gratitude for a service or compliment we provide (i.e. the dollar). There in such lies a problem. Let me paint a picture for you.
Bobby has been friends with Amanda for a few weeks now. They talk a lot and they both enjoy each others company. Now Bobby is a bit of a lonely guy. Now dont get me wrong, he has plenty of friends of both sexes. But Bobby is a different kind of lonely. I think you get the point. Well, lets say that Bobby starts to see Amanda in a bit different way in his eyes. He realizes shes really attractive and totally cool. But he knows it would be a mistake to try anything with her as he is uncertain if she is starting to see the same thing with him. Then on one day, Bobby lends Amanda a hand with something. WIth gratitude, Amanda blurts "Dude ur the best, love you man." Bobby cant believe his ears. Did she say what he thinks she did? Bobby realizes that it was probably just a friendly comment and decides not to look into it too much. But as time goes on, she uses it more and more, mainly at the end of conversations. Bobby doesnt know what to think anymore. She has to be thinking the same thing he is. She has to be.
Then the day finally comes when Bobby decides to give it a shot, and ask her out. Butterflies in his stomache, and baseball cap in his hand. He approaches Amanda nervously, closes his eyes, and pops the magic teenage question: "Will yo go out with me?". She looks at him, and says ".....what?". Baffled, Bobby explains everything with the feelings and the "love yous" and Amanda just states "....oh....i didnt mean it like that though...". A piece of Bobby dies inside. He feels crushed. The awkwardness they both feel is tremendous. She apologizes and Bobby says its ok.
Well time passes. Its been a week since they've spoken normally to each other. Then another week. Soon its a month. What started out as an awesome friendship ended up as an awkward pause. She's confused to why things are. But Bobby knows things can never be the same again. Bobby sighs, wipes away a tear perhaps, and slowly goes on with life. His first experiance with love turned out to be one-sided. As it is with most of us. The End.
Now I'm not blaming females for this overuse. Not at all. We are all responsible for it, because we all encouarge it. But moderation is needed, people. You can't expect to be saying "I love you" all willy-nilly without really meaning it in its definition way. People get hurt this way.